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05/06/2004: "glowing."

I only get to see music videos--or TV, for that matter--when I'm at the local gym lifting weights. (Not the big scary dude-weights, but the less threatening girlie ones, in case you were wondering.) Usually the videos they show are sort of old, but it's not like I'd know. (I just saw the video for "Hey Ya!" a few weeks ago.) Today I finally saw a Jessica Simpson music video and marveled at her inexplicable ascent to stardom (still have never seen 'Newlyweds'). She's not even that pretty, is she? I mean, she's rail-thin, so maybe that's part of the draw. But she looks and sounds so. . . ordinary, which I guess is part of the sorority-girl-next-door charm, because it's certainly not her singing. Then there was some weird Beyonce video that I forget the name of, but she had this sort of blue cast on her and was slithering around in the sand or something. Beyonce's cute but there's something really weird about how they style videos these days, with the glow-levels so amped up that the singers are practically effulgent. Pick up any womens' magazine at the grocery store and now that summer's approaching they're all obsessed with how to "get that healthy, natural glow", which as far as I can understand it involves a lot of strategically-applied makeup, lip gloss, and that spray-on fake tanning stuff. Now I'm not alleging that Beyonce uses fake tanning stuff, but she literally looked shiny, like she was slathered in a two-inch-thick layer of Vaseline before the shoot. Then there's this way that they airbrush photos where everything looks almost reflective, it's so glowing. There's only so much you can glow before you become dangerously unstable and start emitting neutrons, you know!


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