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01/19/2004: "i found a reason"

Went to a loft party yesterday in Chelsea that made me feel, well, optimistic about New York again. I felt such a friendly, Boston-like vibe there; maybe it was all the cans of Miller High Life I was swilling, but I hadn't felt that relaxed at a party in a while. Consumed by a fit of giddy stupidity, I decided to walk home -- about 50 blocks, all told. The sidewalks were covered with huge patches of solid ice -- sometimes two or three inches thick and disturbingly opaque, sometimes thin and insidiously invisible. I made a game out of studiously navigating my way through it in my nearly-treadless Adidas sambas, somehow managing not to fall down the whole way back, gaining traction with the satisfying crunch of salt under my feet. It reminded me of the time I walked through Berlin at the dead of night, following the dark, glittering path of the S-Bahn tracks for miles and miles, and how happy and free I felt then. I often forget how liberating and expansive and continuous big cities can be, because they've increasingly seemed so constraining and confining and claustrophobic. One of those uber-long winter walks that I won't feel the need to do again for a long time, probably, but so powerfully head-clearing that I'm glad I did.

Listening to a pile of new CDs and trying to figure out what reviews to pitch next, but all music -- no matter how awful -- sounds so beautiful to me now, to the degree that my critical faculties are somewhat impaired.


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